Wednesday, July 7, 2010

letting go

How come the hardest thing to do is to let go? Whether it's a childhood toy, an old raggedy teddy bear, a pillow, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or just someone we know. Letting go is probably the hardest thing anyone could ever go through.

I remember when I was about 12 years old, 3 of our helpers were leaving us because they "couldn't take it anymore". 2 were sisters, and the other was their cousin. They had been with us for over 3 years and I had grown really close to them. One of the helpers was my sister's yaya, and the other one always accompanied me when I went out to the mall. The day they left, I cried really hard. I was really sad to see them go, and I didn't want them to leave. I think I even asked them to stay, but they said they couldn't stay.

Letting go can either make or break you.

I've never been close to a helper ever since.

That was a lesson the 12 year old me had to learn - that people came and went and I just had to learn to accept it and move on. Maybe that is also the reason why I don't let others come too close to my heart. I've put up a few high walls around it and I guess I'm just waiting for someone to come and brave these high walls just to get inside. ♥

And now, someone else had to learn the painful lesson of letting go - my grandfather. Flash forward to 10 years later and the one with the issues isn't me, but grandad. There is one helper who has become his daily companion, accompanying him on his hikes and daily errands. And now, she has decided to leave us as well. She isn't the best one there is, and she talks back to my grandad and gets moody and angry around him. But somehow he has turned a blind eye toward all she has done, simply because he 'needed' her around. Simply because he couldn't let go of her. She is just a maid after all. There will always be new ones. But this is one lesson he has to learn on his own.

I've traveled that road before, and it hurt a lot. Maybe now, it's time for him to journey there as well.

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