where has the friendship gone?

you think you know someone after being friends with them for so long, but in just a night everything can change. if friendship can be broken with just a single realization, then i guess the relationship was never that deep to begin with. 


some events have happened to me and my group of friends that has made me think about friendship and everything in between.

how can you suddenly choose not to be around your friends anymore, let alone be their FRIEND? is this something you suddenly decided? or has this thought been lingering already in your head for a long time?

i was so hurt by the words that were spoken, although in a way the thought wasn't expressed to me specifically, but still. it hurt. because i thought friendships lasted until FOREVER. how come this one was coming to an end so soon? i thought there were supposed to be happy endings, but how come this one seemed like a tragedy so many years in the making? who would have known that it would end this way? avoidance, rejecting seeing each other, and slowly fading away in the background? :(

i may be bad but i'm perfectly good at it ♥

Fun fun saturday night with my friends! It was the first time that I got to go home later than usual without being told to go home early! It was strange but such a great feeling!

We celebrated Auddy's birthday and had fun singing karaoke afterwards. This was just what I needed, and I will never get tired of singing karaoke! :D

the birthday boy

blazer-H&M; pants-Topshop; shoes-Suelas

know when to pick yourself up

today was a really unexpected turn of events.

i decided to take out my beloved zara pumps since i realized that it has been a year since i wore it last. with all the new shoe styles and heel sizes this season, i forgot the stilettos and sexy pumps that i had kept at the back of my closet.

i was confident enough that today would be a good day. after work we picked up the cake for my dad's friend who's celebrating his birthday, and i ordered some cupcakes for me too ;)

(L-R: Cookies and Cream, Double Chocolate, Cappuccino, Red Velvet, Vanilla, Chocolate)

we ate at a japanese buffet for dinner - i was so full! i seriously could not eat anymore. afterwards we proceeded to watch 3 4D shows since the parents were having their usual chit chat and us kids had nothing better to do.  while we were on the way to the theater area, bam. i fell and twisted my ankle =/ i was not expecting it at all, and it hurt really bad. i wasn't able to put ice on it since we still had to watch the 45 minute show (15 minutes each) and so we went home about an hour and a half after i hurt my ankle and i immediately put ice on it. the swelling has subsided to a minimum but it still hurts. hopefully by tomorrow it will be all better! i need it to be =/

i remembered all those people who fell down but got back up again and pulled it together. i find it comforting that this happens to everyone, and it can happen at any time without you expecting it. i learned a really great lesson today :)

Dress-Zara; Shoes-Zara 

what do you guys think of my nails? i did them myself so they are a bit sloppy. :)

everything will just fade away

I finally get to wear the pants I redeemed from chictopia last year! It arrived when I was already in Beijing so I couldn't bring it with me and I totally forgot about it when I got back until just a few weeks ago. The size was too big for me so I had it altered and made it into high-waisted pants instead. I really like how it came out :) I'm hoping to wear it more often!

Fall back guy

Yes. I admit it. You are my fall-back guy. I just realized that now. Whenever I feel lonely, I think of you. I think of texting you. I wish you would somehow text me. Even when I am at a happy point in my life, there are still moments when I think of you and wonder if you still care for me. If you still have feelings for me. If you still think about me.


I still think about you, you know. Even though it may not be that often, even if it's not because I like you too, still, I think about you. 


Sometimes I think about giving you another chance, of saying yes and trying to make happily ever after work with you. But then I hesitate, because I don't really know if I would like to spend forever looking into your eyes. I don't know if I would like to be the mother of your children, or that I would want you to be the father of mine. I don't know if it's really you that's destined for me.


Sure, being with you would be easy. You're a good guy, you would do anything for me, you would do your best to make me happy, and I know you would never hurt me. But could I do the same for you? Could I make you happy, half-heartedly? 


I am afraid to take the chance because I don't want to regret the decision, and I don't want to change what we already have. There's something between us that only you and I can understand. We may not be together or say aloud that we like each other, but when it's just us two, we're comfortable and relaxed. We know each other so well that we know if the other is lying, even if it's only through text. You're the only one I have this connection with, and I'm confused if this is a special friendship or something deeper than that. 

Paint it red

The weather here in Cebu has been craaaazy lately! For the past week it has been raining non-stop, dark and gloomy :( It's kinda dampening my mood too, although I do like the cold. I am kind of used to wearing jackets, jeans and the likes since I did live in Beijing when it was winter so I had to make use of what I had and I tried my best to still be fashionable given the weather circumstances.

Top-H&M; Jacket-TrunkShow; Wedges-H&M

Funny thing, while I was watching Glee last night I noticed Mercedes wearing the same top!

The only thing missing in this outfit are red red lips :) My latest addiction is lipstick! There's just something sexy with being able to paint your lips in a different shade. Lately I'm into reds and pinks, and I am looking for the perfect nude lipstick! Still no luck though.

settling

Don't settle. Because in the end, you'll realize that it wasn't worth it after all. 
If he's not the guy of your dreams, don't be with him just because he makes you all giddy and happy inside.
No matter how long you've waited for a guy to come into your life, it's not an excuse to just jump on the first guy who makes you feel special.
After all the fireworks and firsts have passed, think long and hard if those feelings are going to last. Because if they aren't, then it's better to say an early goodbye. 

You Would

If you could only see
How funny and charming I could be..
then, you would surely
fall in love with me.

If you could only see
How sweet and caring I could be..
then, you would surely
fall in love with me.

If you could only see
that behind this girl,
who looks like she has it all
she just needs someone like you?

If you could only see
that amidst the craziness and the loudness
there's a soft spoken soul
that's never been broken.

If you could only see
that aside from all the guys
there's a girl who's waiting
to give love a try?

If you could only see
that underneath that really huge heart
it's been broken over and over
waiting to be put together, whole again.

If only you could see
that behind the imperfections
she could be that perfect girl,
that she could be the one for you.

Why can't you see it?

-vky

sun, come out and play

i was expecting to have some one on one time with the sun this morning, but it didn't come out and play today :( well it was kind of expected because of the tsunami and earthquakes that hit Japan and some surrounding countries yesterday. thank goodness nothing happened to the Philippines. but I hope that no one's loved ones are stranded or trapped somewhere in Japan!

Maxi skirt-H&M; Jacket-Miley Cyrus; Necklace-Accessorize

I just love this skirt that I got from H&M about 3 months ago. Today was the first time I wore it. I've been putting off wearing this for a special occasion but I realized that everyday should be a special one. My mantra is "Always look your best, because you'll never know who you'll run into" ;) ♥

Take me for a ride

Lately I've been feeling a bit too touchy and emotional, i don't know if it's because of the pms or because i really feel that way. Anyhoo, normal saturday out with the family and while we were at the restaurant waiting for our food, Rihanna's "Only Girl In the World" played and I instantly felt a wave of nostalgia for my Beijing days! It's crazy, I know. I don't know if my other friends feel the same way I do but I can tell you that I am probably the craziest one - missing Beijing and everything I had there! :(

I guess part of the reason why I miss it this badly is because I really had a FUN life over there. A really REALLY fun life.. and I want it back! ;(

Top-H&M; Shoes-H&M; Bag-Min Chu market in Beijing

I love these shoes! They remind me of military combat boots, but edgier and waaay more stylish :) This was the first pair of heels I bought when I was in Beijing. I had been looking for the perfect pair of heels and nothing seemed to fit the category. Until they released these babies! They are really comfortable to walk in and the heel height is just right! What's more, the style and color is really unique!